Dry July or FebFast?

Filed in Archive, Blog by on July 20, 2013 0 Comments

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A new month has been designated for staying off the booze: Dry July (dryjuly.com). This is welcome news for those of us who find the better known booze- free month of FebFast (febfast.org.au) goes too fast.

And in certain unnamed persons cases leads to the overcompensation of Mayhem March, which inevitably leads to Affidavit April and what happened around Easter that we still can’t discuss while it’s before the courts. The resulting Melancholy May gives way to the familiar youthful routines of Juvenile June.

So now that the world has Dry July, we can ditch the old Junket July and those fact-finding jaunts to Bali, Las Vegas and the south of France. Don’t worry, the only facts you would have found anyway are that goats are temperamental and midgets (not “dwarfs”) really can sue.

Unfortunately, some people are likely to Drink-an-Awful-Lot-in-August to make up for their July efforts. Their alliteration improves for the football finals in Sloshed September, backed up by Overdose October during the Spring Racing Carnival. But by Melbourne Cup time they are wondering if they will follow the unfortunate paths of the losing racehorses in Knackered November.

Delirious December is obviously the worst month of the year to try abstaining from booze, but things can get a lot worse during Jailbait January, which someone really should do something about.

When you think about it, FebFast arrives just in time to save us from ourselves. My one problem with FebFast is that my mother-in-law’s birthday dinner is ritually on the 5th. But if I pay the FebFast fine, then it means I’ve still made a four-day effort and raised some money for a good cause. Because there is always next year.

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(With thanks to Simone and Julian for introducing me to Dry July and talking through the issues. They are available for counselling by appointment.)

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