(Gay) Dog Marriage

Filed in Archive, Blog by on July 20, 2013 0 Comments

GayDogMarriageFINAL

Should dogs get married? And what about gay dogs?

The first question has been answered with a resounding “Yes” by a booming international industry that even offers designer wedding certificates for dogs – signed with paw prints (really). And this is not for mere bored or drunken amusement like your average cane-toad race. For instance, reports from India say status-climbing owners now go on public quests to find canine brides to fulfil karmic beliefs in this life and incarnations to come (Psychology Today, “Dogs and Marriage in India”). As they say in the classics: go figure.

The second question may open up another front on the current gay marriage debate. While most people are now coming around to the idea that gay marriage is inevitable as democracies become more equal, old prejudices die hard.

There’s still plenty of fire and brimstone to be fanned by the frocks of conservative religious leaders. And, no, I’m not going to dig into their history of frock-lifting behind closed doors. Too easy. Let’s stick to the canine theme. Oh, hang on …

Anyway, one of the many great things about dogs is their lack of hypocrisy. Most dogs openly enjoy a good hump whenever and with whatever they can. Males, females or over-loved chew toys – dogs don’t normally mind. Given half a chance they form writhing conga lines around your local park. A furry flurry of pheromones.

So when I recently came across a Designer Weddings for Dogs website that had a footer on every page “… and Jesus said Follow Me”, I couldn’t help e-mailing the apparently religious proprietor to see if he or she would be okay with a gay dog marriage.

I’m pleased to report the proprietor had a sense of humour – and perhaps a low bank balance – claiming she “snickered” at my question because “we don’t have a problem” with gay dog marriage. Great to see someone working such a narrow market niche being so broad-minded.

Speaking of niches, I couldn’t find any companies doing doggy divorces. Now there’s an opportunity for an enterprising legal firm, Lionel Hutz.

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(Originally published in March 2012, then reloaded in July 2013 to this website.)

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