Future Education
The next time the government decides to fork out zillions of dollars to fund a vision for education into the future, there’s no need to hire a pomposity of professors to write up the bleedin’ obvious. The following summary provides all the major policy guidance they’ll need.
English – early form of SMS.
Mathematics – mainly for gambling but still finding other uses.
Information Technology – nerd integration assistance.
Science – despite persistent rumours, this stopped at Viagra.
History – stuff that happened when people didn’t know any better.
Physical Education – dumbed-down anger management.
Geography – only for povo school students who can’t afford a GPS.
Philosophy – simple questions with endless answers to fit any prejudice.
Music – free downloadable rave accessory.
French – a way of ordering snails that sounds sophisticated.
Chinese – the new English.
Religious Instruction – a losing battle.
Drama – emotional outlet for fashion victims.
Public input is welcome on suitable assessment criteria for the above. Although I can’t guarantee your suggestions will leverage your snout into the funding trough.
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(Originally published in January 2012, then reloaded in July 2013 to this website.)