Best Bogan Baby Names

The following list should not be read by expectant parents. These baby names serve as a public warning. I’m exposing this list because I know what it’s like having to spell your first name throughout life. But these names are not old-fashioned Celtic spellings, they are new-fashioned afflictions for life. The list has been compiled through the ‘lived research’ of Dr Alex King (Honorary Doctorate for an original and significant contribution to bogan knowledge). I have taken the liberty of explaining the meaning of each name.

Allora: popular in NZ, pronounced ‘Eh, Laura?’

Axyl: why not go the whole Axylotol?

Charlee: for female Sheens.

Destanee: destined for grateness.

Gaije: is this really pronounced ‘gauge’?

Jakk: one k short of a white supremacist.

Jazlen: conceived after a  bloody good vajazzling.

Mahlee: variation of the traditional diminutive for Marlboro.

Montanna: it’s Hannah that has two n’s.

Rawdon: uncooked cocktail frank.